What's Next? 10 Steps to Help You Reflect, Re-define and Re-focus on Your Goals.
2020 has been one helluva year, hard to digest the fact that we still have six more months to go! At the start of this new decade, all you could hear everyone talking about (me included) was goal setting, vision boards, resolutions and new year intentions. Fast forward to six months later, and the rhythm of the discussions is A LOT different. Not only are we grappling with the changes and loss brought on by COVID-19, but the issues of racial inequality in America has again risen to the surface.
A big part of this crisis has slowed life down for so many of us; Giving us the much needed time to focus on the things and the people that matters most. This pandemic allowed me the opportunity to revisit my personal goals. I know, (us moms) seldom think about our own goals. No, I'm not referring to the six loads of laundry to be done, the frequent visits to the grocery store, cleaning up after everyone, getting the kids to their activities, making dinner and, oh teacher also got added to the list. The question then becomes, “Can you be a great mom and still achieve your personal goals?” To that, I say, Yes! Absolutely! Matter-of-fact take this journey with me over the next ten weeks as I share and challenge you to do ten things to continue being a great mom and still go after your personal goals. Let us reflect, redefine, and refocus. For me, the first step was a mindset shift.
Step 1: Shift Your mindset
Society has a way of making us believe that now that you’re a mom, you should completely forget your own goals and focus primarily on your children. Too many of us fall victim to this mindset and park our personal goals and bury them deep inside, only for those goals and dreams to so frequently float back to the surface, leaving us feeling miserable and empty. Being a mom does not mean you have to forget the things you desired before becoming a mom. Of course, no doubt, children change the direction of your life, and if your experience is like mine, becoming a mom fueled an even deeper drive in me to go after the things I desire. It just simply means that your path will look different from someone else without children. Prepare your mind to believe that you can achieve your goals. What negative things have others told you, that you have rooted in your subconscious, causing you not to believe in your abilities? Write those things down. Then change your thought process! For, eg. "No other woman has ever done that, what makes you think you will be able to do that". Change it to "I will be the first woman to __________" fill in the blank.
When I was six months pregnant with my second daughter, I enrolled in an MBA program. For years I had put off going back to school. Before kids, I told myself I had no money. After my now-husband and I started a family I told myself I had no time. Realizing that my life as I know it will never carve out the perfect timing until I made a shift and believe in myself and my abilities to make it happen. As moms, life as we know it will never give us more time, more money, or less chaos. When I started my program, I had to accept the fact that I had to do it differently. It required late nights when my older daughter was tucked away in bed. It required holding baby Sophia with one hand and typing with the next. It will take me longer than someone without children, but the fact-of-the-matter is that I started. If all goes well, I will be finished at the end of this year. We have to strategize and go after what we want. Before you know it, our precious babies will be grown and gone chasing after their own goals and dreams.
I encourage you to shift your mindset today. Everything that you desire is still possible; you can still have it all while still loving and caring for those little heartbeats. Mindset shifts won’t happen in a day, in a week, not even in a month. It's something that we regularly and consistently have to keep working on. For me, I’m still working on shifting from the beast of procrastination. I’m still working on moving from a “perfection” mentality. We tell ourselves something has to be perfect when the truth is we’re too scared to step out on our ideas. Over the next few weeks, I challenge you to do the following with me to start shifting your mindset and stand on the belief that you have what it takes to achieve your goals and start moving in the direction to make it happen.
Listen / read something positive everyday. Find something to inspire you
Practice positive self-talk
Surround yourself with people that match your desired mindset
Embrace habits that match your desired mindset and change those habits that do not support you and your goals.
Thank you for reading and join me back next week Thursday for step 2.